Archive - Horrible Lists

Something I'm wondering

How attached is everyone to this “Horrible Lists” idea? Well, you haven’t received one in a very long time so you can’t be that attached What if I wrote…

Apr 17 •

March 2022

What I've been up to lately

I learned about plankton during an interview I did for a kid’s science magazine a couple months ago. I hadn’t realized that what defines an organism as…

Mar 16, 2022 •

June 2021

Romantic musings from the tick I found on my ass

The first time I saw Ellie, I knew she was the one. My next blood meal. I will die without her, I realized. I made my move when she was distracted. She…

Jun 25, 2021 •

February 2021

What I did this weekend

Stared at my foster cat Wally Made up songs about Wally and sang them to him while clutching him Wondered what would happen if we left Wally free to…

Feb 22, 2021 •

December 2020

Things I have learned about chickens and chicken drama

My boyfriend and I recently joined a community garden that has an aging flock of chickens. I love them, which I had not expected. They make soft noises…

Dec 9, 2020 •

November 2020

My email inbox, if I'm being sensitive

SUBJECT LINE: INTO THE ABYSS, AND THROUGH IT In 2020, we’ve all felt the pangs of fear. We’ve felt the current of sorrow, hot and unyielding. This…

Nov 23, 2020 •

Other good names for a landscaping company since Four Seasons Total Landscaping is taken

Fricking Plants, Inc. 100 Percent Living Plants Definitely Plants 5000 Dirt Sun Air Pesticides By Ellie Nice Weather Only Total Landscaping All Types of…

Nov 9, 2020 •

October 2020

What podcast episode synopses sound like sometimes

Bagels, human fists, herbal tinctures. What do all of these things have in common? And what happens when a large bag of all three of them is dumped out…

Oct 19, 2020 •

September 2020

Mouse pads you can buy

Corgi Butt 3D Mousepad Best Sister mousepad Corgi Butts Drive Me Nuts Corgi Mousepad Smooffly Funny Cats Mouse pad Faux Police Line custom text mousepad…

Sep 28, 2020 •

Possible opening lines from a YA novel narrated by a plant pathogen

My name is Athena. You might have heard of me: I’m the girl who ruined everything. My name is Athena the Terrible. I know, it’s… a lot. But a lot of the…

Sep 14, 2020 •

August 2020

Stuff I learned about Ibiza

And some housekeeping notes.

Aug 31, 2020 •

March 2020

A word of advice from my bespoke forest

Hey New York City! I hope you're all staying safe during this crazy time. That being said, I really encourage you all to get outside—while remaining at…

Mar 25, 2020 •

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