What I've been up to lately
I learned about plankton during an interview I did for a kid’s science magazine a couple months ago. I hadn’t realized that what defines an organism as “plankton” is, essentially, a lack of control. Plankton float, or drift. They look like goofy little planets or open mouths as entire bodies or fraggles. They do not swim against the tide. Or flail around in panic, as far as I know. They do not make lists!
They also do not:
Demand a specific birthday cake from a specific baked goods company
Eat 2 pounds of ground turkey for breakfast each day
Spend 15 hours a day on Zillow wondering why so many people in this country have carpeted floors, and whether there is a relationship between the desire for carpeted floors and the desire for lawns, because there certainly seems to be. A shared bid to end discomfort/inconvenience, and therefore life itself..?
I’ll return to a pure and quick list next time, out of respect for everyone’s dry eyes, but I’ve been off-list (as they say in the list biz) for so long that I’ve set impossible standards for my comeback list and therefore I offer you this bespoke hybrid list-blog that is just okay. The theme is “What I’ve been up to lately” because someone asked me that this weekend, which I still can’t believe.
Chicken update:
Eleanor’s sister Porridge had a prolapse and died, which was very sad, but then Eleanor’s personality became unfortunately way better and I can firmly say she’s no longer violent
It was initially believed that Eleanor herself had a prolapse recently, which was devastating, but then it turns out maybe someone was looking too closely at her butt
Laying eggs looks incredibly uncomfortable
I’ve also started volunteering with the NYC Parks Department, and recently spent a couple hours stomping on fields of mugwort next to a seventh grader who knew A LOT about introduced species and DID NOT want to talk to me. I found what I was told was a praying mantis cocoon (“egg sac,” the seventh grader corrected).
This reminded me of something I learned while perusing Facebook a few years ago—
Names of Facebook groups for people who collect and/or breed and/or trade praying mantises:
Mantis Mating UK
Got Mantis?
Mantis Meet
Praying Mantis Community
MANTIS KEEPERS INTERNATIONAL
The Praying Mantis Guild
Praying mantis for beginners
Which then of course brings me here, to…
Praying mantis Halloween costumes:
Men's Green Praying Mantis Costume, $69.99
Wholesale Cosplay Praying Mantis Anthropomorphic Clothing, $31.15
JYZCOS Praying Mantis Costume for Adult Men Women Insect Bug Fancy Dress Green, $55.88
Fantasia Unisex Praying Mantis Halloween Costumes, on sale for $76.95
Praying Mantis Adult Costume Latex Mask, $28.99
That’s all for now, but I will be back soon! Definitely before Halloween.